Less than 48 hours left of 2017, when did that happen?!
I thought I'd finish off the year with a little reflection on the year and a round up of how I'm feeling going in to 2018.
I have to be completely honest about my year. I know a 'Year in Review' should be positive, but I'm not going to sugarcoat. This year has been a year of ups, downs and, in my opinion, not enough.
I will start with the 'downs and not enough' (let's get the bad stuff out the way, then onto the more positives baby!)
As we got towards the end of the year, at the start of November I was feeling pretty low and one Sunday morning I knew enough was enough and had a big scream-y, ugly cry. I opened up to Henry about feeling lost, uninspired, lazy and unproductive. Put simply, I panicked as I felt I hadn't achieved enough this year. I had such big ideas for my year when I look back at my resolutions, but post University life really isn't plain sailing. Afraid of what the big wide world has to offer me, I spent the year quietly sailing on through, hoping job opportunities might come up, hoping my dream job might just happen, being afraid to commit 'just in case', lacking confidence and at the same time wanting the freedom of my own life, my own home and my own money. No one needs to be told these things don't go hand in hand.
Don't get me wrong, what I have achieved this year, I am really proud of. I didn't do nothing, I just didn't do enough. I'm simply disappointed in myself because I know I could have achieved more.
BUT, onto the positives and how I'm moving forward and learning from a not-so-sweet year!
This year I finally saved enough to buy my first DSLR camera I have wanted for longer than I can remember. I received my first payment from YouTube, a little reward for doing something you love is the best. I filmed my best wedding video yet for one happy happy couple! I uploaded 45 videos on to my YouTube channel and hit 45k views on one. I interned and got the job as a Social Media Assistant for a pretty cool company and learnt a lot. It came to an end through my own decision recently but gave me a confidence boost and knowledge to take into next year and new jobs. I filmed and edited my first ever music video. I had a busy Summer of singing, photography, videography, wedding work, being a receptionist and doing social media work. I spent quality time with my beautiful family. I realised the true importance of your girl-gang and having people you can trust with your deepest, darkest (and certainly most embarrassing) secrets. I celebrated four years with Henry, I don't know what I'd do without his endless support. He puts up with worrying, stress and tearful me a lot, but is always caring, honest and has my best interest at heart.
Moving forward, I don't have any regrets about this year. I worry enough about the things that haven't happened, so there's definitely no point me worrying about what can't be undone.
I'm learning from it. I'm turning negatives into positives and using it as a driving force for 2018.
I'm feeling extremely motivated to learn, hone in on my skill sets and to push myself to think outside the box. I'm putting a little plan together for 2018 to go alongside my New Years Resolutions, just watch this space (and check out my first blog post in Jan)
So, that's a wrap on 2017. Whether you're getting glitzy and sipping many a prosecco or snuggling down in PJ's with pizza this evening, have a good one!
G x
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